Sunday, 2 June 2013

Pringles Pizza Flavour Baked Crispy Stix

Baby Borbo and his pet boll weevil getting ready to enjoy some of these crispy treats. Baby Borbo smartly wears goggles so he doesn't poke an eye out with a pizza stick.
I'll eat most anything that's pizza flavoured except maybe gallbladders, boll weevils or pubic hair. So many different types of snack foods have undergone the pizza transforming process but sadly only a chosen few have really made the grade in my books. The rest taste like some strange concoction of ketchup that's been left out in the sun too long and then tossed with onion and cheese powders, the whole shebang then sprinkled like pizza fairy dust over the surface of an otherwise fine potato, cracker or corn-hybrid construction. But Pringles, those innovators of the stacking potato chip that have brought so much joy to people's lives, whether at picnics, parties or to shut-ins who are using them to build replicas of famous U.S. battleships, have upped the ante in the pizza-flavoured snack department with another perfectly uniform treat. It's as if these pizza "Stix" have emerged freshly baked from the cloning factory, each a mirror image of the other like one great big happy pizza-flavoured skinny family. But how do they taste? Do they actually replicate the flavour of pizza? Not a chance. But they do have an enticing picture of a pizza on the box and the image of the Italian flag with the word "PIZZA" emblazoned on it. Not good enough? Well there is something so uniquely un-pizza about them that they become pizza just through their own force-of-will and sheer belief in themselves. Power of suggestion is all in the presentation and the mustachioed Mr. Pringles mascot could no doubt sell snow to the Inuit, pine beetles to British Columbians, wheat to Saskatchewan farmers or potatoes to Idahoans due to his suave countenance. There is a subtle onion flavour here and even a hint of cheese but there's also another flavour profile lurking deep beneath the crispy surface that speaks of something more primordial, as if from the swamp where life began if that swamp, were say, behind a strip mall on the outskirts of Sudbury. I would pair these pizza "stix" with a nice Chianti or a grape-flavoured Slushy to temper their slightly cloying finish. Each box contains 8 to-go packs and at only 70 calories per pack, they make a perfect treat to eat while working out with your Thigh Master or doorknob rope exercising machine.

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