Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Sensible Portions Veggie Chips

I'm not usually attracted to snack foods that bill themselves as sensible. In fact, by nature, I believe snack foods are required to be the exact opposite and there should be nothing sensible about them at all except maybe the ease of opening the package. Still, I am drawn to the odd sensible snack substitution if only to balance out all my other stupid decisions. Like posing Barbies and a Ken, wearing only his underpants, with a bag of these crispy legumes. Really, I was looking for a snack that would be healthy for my kids and help Barbie and Ken keep their svelte figures for frolicking at the beach. Actually, I lied. I wasn't really looking for a healthy snack for my kids but we got them free at a baseball game so we kind of had health forced upon us. Well, not forced but we'll pretty much eat anything that's free. Except maybe broccoli. And earthworms. And pocket lint probably. Unless it has a mint attached to it. On first perusal of the ingredients I was disheartened not to find anything from the hydroxide, inosinate, glutamate or guanylate families as experience tells me, these cheerful additives really punch up the flavour of a chip. Instead, what I read was beetroot powder, spinach powder and turmeric, lightly sprinkled over these 'tater discs. I gave these things about two seconds before my kids spit them out on my lap. The floor of the bleachers at baseball games are littered with healthy half-chewed foods that my kids have been coerced into trying. So, I was properly astonished when my kids devoured these things without batting an eye or retching uncontrollably. Now that it was tested on them, I went for a bag myself. What can I say? They were actually very tasty and not at all like eating topsoil. The dusting of various veggie powders added enchanting flavours, like tiptoeing through a garden at twilight, feeling at one with all of God's creatures, even the ones that fit on a bun. As an added bonus, you can also get these snacks as veggie straws that are hollow through the centre so they double as blowguns for the kids. And that brother-in-law from the trailer park that you never see can use them to snort cocaine in a pinch. With the veggie powder it's like getting your vitamins and indulging in your vice simultaneously. Made by a company called Sensible Portions, there was nothing sensible about the portion I ate but then again you can never eat too many dehydrated veggies unless there's such a thing as beetroot powder poisoning.

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