Thursday, 30 May 2013

Original Munchies Snack Mix

Raggedy Jimmy Durante at peace with his favourite snack mix.
This is one of those snack foods where I think Frito Lay decided to hedge their bets and help potheads across the country with their muddled decision-making process. Because it can be hard to choose when you're in that state and stoners clogging up the aisles of the local supermarket with limited funds and too many choices is not something Frito Lay wants resting on their more clear-thinking heads. Thus, why not just throw everything a munchie-driven person could want into one bag and keep everyone moving through the checkout line at a reasonable pace. Intriguingly, this philosophy also works on kids. And parents who don't want to purchase four different bags of snacks at triple the price for sodium-crazed kids with feral glints in their eyes. Which is what attracted me to this salty smorgasbord in the first place. As for the taste, what could go wrong when you throw Doritos, Cheetos, Sun Chips and Rold Gold Pretzels into one attractive bag with an enlarged photo of the various components showing their alluring textures and seasoning-mottled surfaces, all suggesting that this is all you need to satisfy your snack cravings. As for quenching your thirst after a bag of these, I suggest actually investing in and installing a Slushy machine in your living room or den because, honestly, someone crossing the Sahara wouldn't build up a thirst like this. Of course you could always go the water route but really, after you've consumed this much salt isn't sugar the more obvious and natural choice. And why settle for mere soda when you can slush-up that drink like a Winnipeg curb-side in mid-January. You wouldn't pair foie gras with Mountain Dew so why pair Cheetos with some water pumped out of a French septic tank. Anyway, it's a no-brainer that these things are very popular in our house. Go get yourself a crate load at COSTCO and if you're a paranoid pot-smoker (like I used to be in my younger days) you won't have to leave the basement for days. As an added bonus for all the kids and pot-heads out there, not to mention satisfying my puerile mind, I've added a picture of Raggedy Jimmy Durante with snot dripping out of his nose. Look! It's dripping into his bag of Original Munchie Snack Mix. The good thing is is that with their strong, persuasive flavours he'll probably never taste the difference.

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